Life

I used to fear death, but now I realize it's life that I fear. Which paths are we supposed to take? I have no idea. I stand as humans are supposed to but never will I be ideal. I understand that death is created for a purpose, no one will ever be able to express that until the after world, and that is something I am unsure of. For now I ponder life, as standards increase and room for exceptions stays as a ghost...near invisible. Why must we worry or care? Speaking aloud words of truth is the hardest task for myself and many others, so writing them down almost seems less frightening. We build ourselves up and fall a few times on the road, but for what? So we can die? Or so we can live? I haven't chosen. LIFE seems a waste.. But then I look and think of our possibilities and question that statement. I want to live, but rules to not exsist would be ideal. Maybe I am not ideal, but I know the definition. Words are all I have.. dreams of words can guide us as there are no other ways to find acceptance. I want to write a book, to become a famous poet, to share words.. those are all dreams.. but I fear that. I fear that I will fall and never lift back up.. Is this normal? I accept failure as I have never reached success. When will it be my turn? Hear my words and speak the language I was given, by God. Maybe it wasn't God.. God are you real? I am unsure.